Saturday, September 22, 2007
21 sept
Was an off day for me todae…
Actually meant to play games throughout or jus go to wendy hse and play games or sth lidat…
Anyway…woke pretty late todae…cos was freaking tired..
Went online for a while be4 going bak to slp with a freaking headache…
Den later receive an sms from mum…
Asking me to bring out her chequebook to her at cwp..
So ok…I roused myself from my slp and went out…
She was at popular…so I went..
I’m still having dat fuckin headache dat wont subside and the noise in cwp is not helping either.
Dat naturally puts me in a foul mood…
And I mean really foul mood…
Went and pretend I was alright..
My aunts was there…so jus keep abit quiet and talk abit here and there…
Den later went to basement…by then I was already very black face ler…
Cos dat fucking headache would not just leave me alone…
Den mum was lik thinking dat it because I dowan to go out wif her and all dat crap…
I also lazy to explain to her..dat was a headache…
Den she started ranting to me abt how I lik going out wif my frens and not wif my family..
As I mentioned be4…
I merely grunted cos I’m trying to rein in my temper..
Which dat stupid headache is causing me…
And she started grumbling and askng me to go home if I’m not happy going out wif her…
Lmao…ask me to go out..den chasing me away lik chasing dog lidat..
wad the fuck u trying to do seh…
I not ur slave to be called and there der…
U tink I wad…I bring it out for u because I dowan u to come bak home and walk so many tymes…
Later u leg pain and then u will be there grumbling to me…
Abt how I lik to help others and not helping u…
I’m sick and tired of hearing dat liao…been hearing dat for dunno how many years liao…
And so..went to buy stuff to eat…lmao…
Buy liao go wif her to the bank…jus lik a good doggie shud be doing…following the master…
Following ard even when carrying her stuff dat she bought…
Jus lik a good dear pet…
So fine went to the bank liao…she made me wait there for her lik 15 mins while she start to enquire abt some stuff dat sounds stupid to my stupid mind…
And den she keep changing her mind abt the wadever plan she actually wants when the girl at the counter told her abt hew plans…
Lmao…IMO I dun tink even need to tink lor…
Jus stick to wad u plan…
And so…after dat becos she decided to get some person to tell her abt the new plan thingy…she told me to go home..
So as a good lil doggie I went home carrying her items dat she bought…
Placed all the stuff bak home ler and ate my lunch liao I went online and talk to 2 of my di and niisan…
Talk abit more den mainly is looking at them talk liao..was pretty alright till I told Mel dat mummy is not coming bak so soon…
Den he started to go and play the computer…
Still wan me not to tell mummy…wad the fuck he tink he is…
Everytime I block for him…nv tell mummy den mummy tink is I play whole dae while he’s the one whu study and study lik fuck everydae…
Den I tio scolding and cant play nor can I go out…
Wad the hell izit lor…
And as a fucking older sister I’m supposed to help him…
Wad is this man…this is not wad is expected of me lor…
Asking me to take care of a brother hu is not interested in his studies no matter how much I try to help him in his sch work..
Honestly I tink teaching Ryan or anyone in the tuition centre is so much better…except for a few…
Lmao…dat one is cannot make it der…
So he carries on playing despite me telling him to stop…
He doesn’t want to…
One day dat fucking dota game will cfm kill u in ur studies…already flunk ur physics and maths liao…
Still dowan to buck up…
Lmao…I flunk my physics u got see me playing already mah…
I already down there trying to pia my stuff from the beginning chapters..
In the end pass I still not happi lor…den from den on I still trying my best to maintain lor…
Pls lah…and dun use me as an excuse ok…
Wad I can do u so sure u also can do mah…
I can play and den study…
Den stop playing to tudy…
U sure u can mah…
I nv see u even flipping ur physics book at all lah…
Not even be4 exams…
Somemore now mummy wan me to help u in physics I can try…I started to read up on my physics again…
Even though I dun even need physics in my poly course…
I can do this much to help u…but I dun even see u trying to help urself at all…
Everytime I try to teach u…ur attention span Is lik shit lidat…
Everytime see other place and not even listening when I ask u to repeat…
I honestly tink teaching u is a fucking waste of my tym when I can easily just spend dem all on games…
But I dun do dat..and now wad do I get…
I kena scolded on ur fucking behalf…
And now…I’m fucking grounded for the rest of my holidays..
While u get to be ferried to and fro sch and allowed to go anywhere…I’m stuck at home…
Only able to lik go to work…
And smemore only able to move out on the dot nia…
Wad do u tink u are…
Lik this it will make me very late der leh…
And when I working wif wendy she hates it when I’m late..
And I hav no desire to piss her off at all…
U are the fucking cause of all my troubles…
And now u are happy…u still get the money from mummy and all dat…
I’m real happy when u got scolded u noe dat…
Really I’m really happi when dat happens..
Not dat I’m being a sadist or wad…or I tink a good scolding will wake u up…
Being sick and so wad…dun tink dat gives u the priority for u to try to act hero..
Damn u..
Eat medicine always nv see the tym…play till forget hor…
U shud noe..i told u so many fucking tymes liao…
Eat medicine u hav to see the tym der…
Hu cares whether u got eat sth or not…u hav to eat ur medicine on tym der…
Nv eat anything den get sth to eat lah..not dat our hse is totally void of edible stuff rite…
Its jus dat u lazy to spread peanut butter and jam on ur bread nia…
And when u get scolded…u drag my name into the scoldings and wad happens next..?
I also tio scolding for some past thing dat had already passed so long ago and yet dey still bring it up…
And when dey explode…first is cane u…den next is chiong me liao…
Cant u jus keep ur troubles to urself..
Lik for once u made daddy so angry…dat he wouldn’t even sent me to sch the next dae..
And I was carrying such heavy stuff…and u dunno this at all rite…
Cos u were in ur fucking slp already..
I tio hamtam for sth I didn’t even do…and all I asked is whether he could send me to sch the next dae…
And so fine…went to sch alone..i nv forgive all the stuff and troubles u caused me..
U tink I just forget all these stuff…
But the things dat u do daily makes me rmb all the pain and troubles u caused me…
Pain from the canings and pain from the words dat dey say when dey scold me..
U nv knew dat rite..
Cos u were always in ur comfy bed when dey were lecturing me..
U nv had such harsh words…u were nv chased out of the hse when u were young…
I was chased out once..in our previous home because I took the blame for u…
I nv expected u to say thank you or wad the fuck…but all u could is to try to keep out of it..
I hate it when all these happen…and by getting me grounded at home..
I’m not able to go out and watch the ratty show I promised I’ll watch wif wendy..
I manages to get permission and u hav to just spoil it for me..
And now its for the whole holidays..means I wont be able to go out wif frens and him..
The outings means a lot to me..and now u totally spoil it…
I noe I got a part to play also..
With the I shudnt be online all the tym thingy..and all dat..
I’m wrong doing all dat..
I’m wrong to be on msn for the whole tym I on my lapp..
I’m wrong for playing games on my lapp..
I’m wrong for checking the forums for updates on my cca..
I’m wrong to even be online..
I’m wrong to be on my lapp..
My lapp shud be on my table to jus collect dust..
I’m guessing dat I’m wrong to be here in the first place..
I’m also wrong for spending money for ‘useless’ stuff..
And lastly I’m wrong for being born onto this earth..
Happy now?
Basically I tink u dun even wan to see someone hu dun listen to wad u say..
Hu dun follow ur instructions abt wad u wan me to do..
Basically dats wad I tink..
I cannot say dat u nv showered me wif love..
But I rather not hav sth lik this where ur love is on and off..
Like a tap..of which only u control the turning of it..
I dun ask for so much..all I ask is for u to gimme some freedom of wad I wan to do..
I hate being tied to ur dogleash..
Wad for do u wan a family dae when our family is not at all stable..
Everytime we go out..parents lik to drag things up to quarrel abt..and I dun hav the mood to choose sides..
I dun feel lik having a family anymore..
I honestly tink dat our home is jus a place for us to gather and quarrel..
After quarrel eat and slp..
It doesn’t feel so much lik a home anymore..
I’m getting quieter and quieter at home..
Not allowed to take so many calls…
Not allowed to sms later den 10 at night…
Life has so many restrictions…
I cant say I’m not happy..
I’m glad I haf a roof over my head…but dats all..
I cant expect anymore ‘love’ dat u are giving me rite now..
I’m barely speaking at home except for tymes we raise our voices to hav a quarrel cum competition..
Which will end up in scoldings..or worse caning..
So used to it..
And I’m still having this fucking headache..
Wendy asked me whether I haf tym tml..
I’m sorry…I’m fucking grounded till the end of tym..
So srry..its not dat I dowan to go out wif u..its jus likdat..
Piggi dear emoing..
I also emoing..
Heck it all..dey took my sharp objects from me..
I wonder if I’m able to slp todae..
I’m still boiling inside me..
I guess my pillow will be too wet to slp anyway..
Since I got scolded lik shit..
Dey really noe how to scold ppl..
I wont talk to them till its necessary for me to do so…
And I’m sure I wont talk to Melvyn..
U can bet on it..
Because u r the cause of all my pains…
Was an off day for me todae…
Actually meant to play games throughout or jus go to wendy hse and play games or sth lidat…
Anyway…woke pretty late todae…cos was freaking tired..
Went online for a while be4 going bak to slp with a freaking headache…
Den later receive an sms from mum…
Asking me to bring out her chequebook to her at cwp..
So ok…I roused myself from my slp and went out…
She was at popular…so I went..
I’m still having dat fuckin headache dat wont subside and the noise in cwp is not helping either.
Dat naturally puts me in a foul mood…
And I mean really foul mood…
Went and pretend I was alright..
My aunts was there…so jus keep abit quiet and talk abit here and there…
Den later went to basement…by then I was already very black face ler…
Cos dat fucking headache would not just leave me alone…
Den mum was lik thinking dat it because I dowan to go out wif her and all dat crap…
I also lazy to explain to her..dat was a headache…
Den she started ranting to me abt how I lik going out wif my frens and not wif my family..
As I mentioned be4…
I merely grunted cos I’m trying to rein in my temper..
Which dat stupid headache is causing me…
And she started grumbling and askng me to go home if I’m not happy going out wif her…
Lmao…ask me to go out..den chasing me away lik chasing dog lidat..
wad the fuck u trying to do seh…
I not ur slave to be called and there der…
U tink I wad…I bring it out for u because I dowan u to come bak home and walk so many tymes…
Later u leg pain and then u will be there grumbling to me…
Abt how I lik to help others and not helping u…
I’m sick and tired of hearing dat liao…been hearing dat for dunno how many years liao…
And so..went to buy stuff to eat…lmao…
Buy liao go wif her to the bank…jus lik a good doggie shud be doing…following the master…
Following ard even when carrying her stuff dat she bought…
Jus lik a good dear pet…
So fine went to the bank liao…she made me wait there for her lik 15 mins while she start to enquire abt some stuff dat sounds stupid to my stupid mind…
And den she keep changing her mind abt the wadever plan she actually wants when the girl at the counter told her abt hew plans…
Lmao…IMO I dun tink even need to tink lor…
Jus stick to wad u plan…
And so…after dat becos she decided to get some person to tell her abt the new plan thingy…she told me to go home..
So as a good lil doggie I went home carrying her items dat she bought…
Placed all the stuff bak home ler and ate my lunch liao I went online and talk to 2 of my di and niisan…
Talk abit more den mainly is looking at them talk liao..was pretty alright till I told Mel dat mummy is not coming bak so soon…
Den he started to go and play the computer…
Still wan me not to tell mummy…wad the fuck he tink he is…
Everytime I block for him…nv tell mummy den mummy tink is I play whole dae while he’s the one whu study and study lik fuck everydae…
Den I tio scolding and cant play nor can I go out…
Wad the hell izit lor…
And as a fucking older sister I’m supposed to help him…
Wad is this man…this is not wad is expected of me lor…
Asking me to take care of a brother hu is not interested in his studies no matter how much I try to help him in his sch work..
Honestly I tink teaching Ryan or anyone in the tuition centre is so much better…except for a few…
Lmao…dat one is cannot make it der…
So he carries on playing despite me telling him to stop…
He doesn’t want to…
One day dat fucking dota game will cfm kill u in ur studies…already flunk ur physics and maths liao…
Still dowan to buck up…
Lmao…I flunk my physics u got see me playing already mah…
I already down there trying to pia my stuff from the beginning chapters..
In the end pass I still not happi lor…den from den on I still trying my best to maintain lor…
Pls lah…and dun use me as an excuse ok…
Wad I can do u so sure u also can do mah…
I can play and den study…
Den stop playing to tudy…
U sure u can mah…
I nv see u even flipping ur physics book at all lah…
Not even be4 exams…
Somemore now mummy wan me to help u in physics I can try…I started to read up on my physics again…
Even though I dun even need physics in my poly course…
I can do this much to help u…but I dun even see u trying to help urself at all…
Everytime I try to teach u…ur attention span Is lik shit lidat…
Everytime see other place and not even listening when I ask u to repeat…
I honestly tink teaching u is a fucking waste of my tym when I can easily just spend dem all on games…
But I dun do dat..and now wad do I get…
I kena scolded on ur fucking behalf…
And now…I’m fucking grounded for the rest of my holidays..
While u get to be ferried to and fro sch and allowed to go anywhere…I’m stuck at home…
Only able to lik go to work…
And smemore only able to move out on the dot nia…
Wad do u tink u are…
Lik this it will make me very late der leh…
And when I working wif wendy she hates it when I’m late..
And I hav no desire to piss her off at all…
U are the fucking cause of all my troubles…
And now u are happy…u still get the money from mummy and all dat…
I’m real happy when u got scolded u noe dat…
Really I’m really happi when dat happens..
Not dat I’m being a sadist or wad…or I tink a good scolding will wake u up…
Being sick and so wad…dun tink dat gives u the priority for u to try to act hero..
Damn u..
Eat medicine always nv see the tym…play till forget hor…
U shud noe..i told u so many fucking tymes liao…
Eat medicine u hav to see the tym der…
Hu cares whether u got eat sth or not…u hav to eat ur medicine on tym der…
Nv eat anything den get sth to eat lah..not dat our hse is totally void of edible stuff rite…
Its jus dat u lazy to spread peanut butter and jam on ur bread nia…
And when u get scolded…u drag my name into the scoldings and wad happens next..?
I also tio scolding for some past thing dat had already passed so long ago and yet dey still bring it up…
And when dey explode…first is cane u…den next is chiong me liao…
Cant u jus keep ur troubles to urself..
Lik for once u made daddy so angry…dat he wouldn’t even sent me to sch the next dae..
And I was carrying such heavy stuff…and u dunno this at all rite…
Cos u were in ur fucking slp already..
I tio hamtam for sth I didn’t even do…and all I asked is whether he could send me to sch the next dae…
And so fine…went to sch alone..i nv forgive all the stuff and troubles u caused me..
U tink I just forget all these stuff…
But the things dat u do daily makes me rmb all the pain and troubles u caused me…
Pain from the canings and pain from the words dat dey say when dey scold me..
U nv knew dat rite..
Cos u were always in ur comfy bed when dey were lecturing me..
U nv had such harsh words…u were nv chased out of the hse when u were young…
I was chased out once..in our previous home because I took the blame for u…
I nv expected u to say thank you or wad the fuck…but all u could is to try to keep out of it..
I hate it when all these happen…and by getting me grounded at home..
I’m not able to go out and watch the ratty show I promised I’ll watch wif wendy..
I manages to get permission and u hav to just spoil it for me..
And now its for the whole holidays..means I wont be able to go out wif frens and him..
The outings means a lot to me..and now u totally spoil it…
I noe I got a part to play also..
With the I shudnt be online all the tym thingy..and all dat..
I’m wrong doing all dat..
I’m wrong to be on msn for the whole tym I on my lapp..
I’m wrong for playing games on my lapp..
I’m wrong for checking the forums for updates on my cca..
I’m wrong to even be online..
I’m wrong to be on my lapp..
My lapp shud be on my table to jus collect dust..
I’m guessing dat I’m wrong to be here in the first place..
I’m also wrong for spending money for ‘useless’ stuff..
And lastly I’m wrong for being born onto this earth..
Happy now?
Basically I tink u dun even wan to see someone hu dun listen to wad u say..
Hu dun follow ur instructions abt wad u wan me to do..
Basically dats wad I tink..
I cannot say dat u nv showered me wif love..
But I rather not hav sth lik this where ur love is on and off..
Like a tap..of which only u control the turning of it..
I dun ask for so much..all I ask is for u to gimme some freedom of wad I wan to do..
I hate being tied to ur dogleash..
Wad for do u wan a family dae when our family is not at all stable..
Everytime we go out..parents lik to drag things up to quarrel abt..and I dun hav the mood to choose sides..
I dun feel lik having a family anymore..
I honestly tink dat our home is jus a place for us to gather and quarrel..
After quarrel eat and slp..
It doesn’t feel so much lik a home anymore..
I’m getting quieter and quieter at home..
Not allowed to take so many calls…
Not allowed to sms later den 10 at night…
Life has so many restrictions…
I cant say I’m not happy..
I’m glad I haf a roof over my head…but dats all..
I cant expect anymore ‘love’ dat u are giving me rite now..
I’m barely speaking at home except for tymes we raise our voices to hav a quarrel cum competition..
Which will end up in scoldings..or worse caning..
So used to it..
And I’m still having this fucking headache..
Wendy asked me whether I haf tym tml..
I’m sorry…I’m fucking grounded till the end of tym..
So srry..its not dat I dowan to go out wif u..its jus likdat..
Piggi dear emoing..
I also emoing..
Heck it all..dey took my sharp objects from me..
I wonder if I’m able to slp todae..
I’m still boiling inside me..
I guess my pillow will be too wet to slp anyway..
Since I got scolded lik shit..
Dey really noe how to scold ppl..
I wont talk to them till its necessary for me to do so…
And I’m sure I wont talk to Melvyn..
U can bet on it..
Because u r the cause of all my pains…
Life at its worst.