Is this my existence?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

went out with dears ytd..

was supposed to blog ytd de..

but i decided to catch up with my slp..

its kinda leaving me damn blur..=/

went for dental in the morning..

den den..

met nu er and we went to yl hse..

mabbe due to the threats she recieved abt us throwing her out of bed..

and dragging her off on a pole..

she was awake when we reached her hse..

lol..

not fun..

i was kinda looking forward to the dragging on pole thingy..

=X

ohoh..

and i gotta talk abt this freaky thing dat happened..

jamie and yl laughed at me cos of it..=.=

in the lift to yl hse..

me jamie and another unknown freaky guy took the same lift..

we took to 1X floor..

he took to 7th floor..

its was damn damn freaky..=.=

when reached 7th floor Mr freaky guy went out..

i was facing the door and jamie's back was to the door..

i swear..100% stoned..

cos i saw Mr freaky waved towards the lift..

den he freaking blew a kiss in dat direction..

i STONED!!!!!

literally..i turned to stone..

den told jamie and yl..dey laughed..=.=

cdey say its obviously meant for me cos jamie's back was to the door..

wtf..=.=

sibei suay..

den i cant say anything cos i was the only one who saw it.. ._.

urgh..

-erase image in mind-

urgh!!

nvm..

den spend the bulk of time all the way to 12 plus in yingli's room..

was talking and talking..

i was trying my best to fold a rose..

i completed one!!!

i did the tying to the stem and yingli did the rose folding part..=.=

i feel stupid..cos i cmi..

RAWRR!!

hurhur..den we talked..

i poked her soft toys..

and i helped myself to the open space on the floor..

den later went shopping..=.=

first thing bought nu er's dress..

its dam nice okays..

not showing pics..

(didnt take anyways~)

den bought yingli heels..

she almost pwn me..

._____.

den i bought sth too..

den towards the dessert shop..

hurhur..

damn nice lor the food there..^^

ohh.and i got pics!!!

hurhur..

crispy mango puffs!!

The side view!!! YUMMY!!!

Jamie's first bite of the mango puff!!!

Yingli's turn!! mouth so big..=D

The whole piece of mang

o in the puff!!!

The battlefield of the puff on the plate..

Monday, February 23, 2009

This is wad happens when Milli is bored..
its been AGES since she last did a quiz..
so here it goes~~
.
001. Real name: Millison Chua Lynn Shan
002. Nickname(s): Milli, illy, lilly(given by whjj), Mil (by wendy), etc etc~
003. Status: wad status? busy and available?
004. Zodiac sign: horsey
005. Male or female: By right is female..by left is tomboi^^
006. Elementary: Admiralty Pri =)
007. Middle School: Riverside Sec =)
008. High School: Ngee Ann Poly, LSCT Pharm Sci
010. Hair color: Black =)
011. Long or short: Not long and not short how? =3
012. Loud or Quiet: Loud when laughing..quiet when emoing..
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
014. Phone or Camera: Phone..specifically handphone^^
015. Health freak: Yarhs..i freak out at my moderate health..=X
017. Do you have a crush on someone?: Mabbe..
018. Eat or Drink: Eat =X
019. Piercings: Yearhs..2only
020. Tattoos: Nah~
021. Water or Fire: Fire
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars: Both or nth~
023. First fear: Not being able to feel pain
024. First best friend: Milli
025. First award: reading award in K1
026. First crush: -nil-
028. First big vacation: Gentings..
030. First big birthday: No idea~
CURRENTLY:
049. Eating: Nth
050. Drinking: Nth
052. I'm about to: Mug =.=
053. Listening to: cars go by outside
054. Plans for today: study and catch up on my slp..
055. Waiting for: sms to come in~
YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids?: No tq~
059. Want to get married? No tq~
060. What careers do you have in mind? forensic thingy~
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRLS/BOYS?
068. Lips or eyes: eyes ^^
070. Shorter or taller?: Taller neh~
072. Romantic or spontaneous: HUH!! depends..
073. Nice stomach or nice arms: ._. arms..zzz
074. Sensitive or loud: sensitive neh~
075. Hook-up or relationship: Depends~ probably R/S
077. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant trouble maker =)
HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts: yarhs..glasses in P3
081. Ran away from home: Nope..chased out be4 though~
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense: IN my dreams..
083. Killed something: Yarhs..killed of my brain cells nearly every sch day
084. Been heartbroken: Yarhs..I tink so~
085. Been arrested: Nah..not yet
087. Cried when someone died: Define cry~ i teared cos of the incense..
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself: Kinda~
090. Miracles: Nope..
092. Heaven: Yup..
093. Santa Claus: Yarhs..and alot of others
094. Sex on the first date: -shakes head-
095. Kiss on the first date: -shakes head-
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now: Unfortunately yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life: Nopey
099. Do you believe in God: Yup
100. Will you post this as 100 truths and tag 10 people: Yarhs..

Tagging: Jamie,irfan,yingli,kelvin,melvyn,jieying,edah,michelle,jeremy,everyone else

i hate the way u accuse me..
hate the way u use ur authority..
hate the way u words hurt me..
hate the fact that we hav to live by ur rules..
hate the fact that i cant argue my points..
hate the fact that u can ignore me but i cant ignore u..
hate the fact dat u can beat me when u are not happy with me..
hate it all..
hate the fact that i hav to help u when my exams are so near.
hate the fact why u cant ask mel to help u instead..( he watch tv goddamnit)
hate the fact u kep tinking that i m playing when i m studying..
hate the fact u keep asking me to stop studying..
hate the fact u keep telling to use my body to earn money next time..
hate the fact u keep telling me not to hang out with my frens..
hate the fact u keep restricting when i can go out..
hate the fact u keep telling me to stop playing when i jus got online..
hate it all abt u..
hate the fact i cant do anything abt it..
i just hate you..
but i couldn't do anything abt it..

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Milli swears that she became a mugging freak..

mug daily to 230am in the morning..

den slp till 9 or 10..

den wakes up feeling slpy still..

and i m tired..

damn tired..

ytd went to whjj hse to study..

morning online to game awhile..

slack n mug..

cos waiting for sab to come..

fell aslp twice..

died in game once i tink..

cos i fell aslp..=X

den 210 sab sms me say he tinks he outside liao..

thinks..=/

neh..opened door..

and i swear i looked like i jus woke up..

blurry eyes and rubbing eyes and all..=//

took my stuff..den went out to boon lay..

almost lost way there..

den cos whjj hse is corner unit..but she at the upper lvl of her hse..

den when we walked to the unit..

we walked to the stairs n waited there..

cos dun dare ask for whjj..=XX

den later she opened door for us..heex~~

went to buy lunch..n den went to her room to mug..

i did mug neh~

1 chapter..

haha..the environment more relaxed den when i'm home..

could study better..=X

i tink neh~~ hav to revise again later though.=X

spend the remaining day there..

den went home at night..

okays..

it was fun..pity mel mel couldn't go~~

heex..going out with them again on the 14 /15 march..=)

shud be fun..as usual..

cos easy to high there..

but no more cameras tq..=X

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

i am mugging..

and emoing..

and mugging..

and emoing..

and mugging..

and emoing..

and mugging..

and emoing..

and mugging..

and emoing..

i wan someone to hug..T_T

seriously..

some guy to hug..

i dunno why..

dun ask me why..

i jus feel like it..=X

p.s. and i m not despo..=X

Saturday, February 14, 2009

been quite some time since i blogged..

lots hav been happening..

i dare not go to the hospital..

becos whenever i visit ppl..

like my relatives..

my timing sucks like shit..

i go in..

cannot save the person anymore..

dats why..

this time i'm actually veri scared to go and visit Jordan..

when i heard wad happened..

ppl ard me was crying..

i wasn't..

it may seem like i'm jus hard hearted..

mabbe..

but i jus haven grab hold of the fact yet..

n moreover..

i dun cry easily..

cos i m veri logical in thinking..

crying doesnt help..for me..

and moreover..

i tink dat those who cry..

are does who accept the facts already..

i haven accept..i wont cry..

i wont accept..

becos i believe he will wake..

becos i believe..i wont cry..

i wont accept..

i noe Jordan works veri hard..

he needs rest..

he's resting..

but for quite long le..

jordan u need to wake up soon..

tai yang sai dao pi gu le..

many ppl are waiting for u to talk to them..

listen to them..

waiting for ur decision in things..

waiting for u to scold them..

to take exams with them..

seriously i dun tink u are going to slp until exams are over rite..

u hav to retake one more year again leh..=/

ppl are crying..

ppl are praying..

ppl are hoping..

ppl are believing..

ppl are worrying..

u noe..

Jordan..

how ever tired u are..

u could jus give a response u noe..

like just open ur eyes and ask those ppl to shaddup..

so dat u can slp jus a bit longer to relieve ur tiredness..

i m sorry i haven been there to visit u..

i noe u dun read my blog..

but who knows when u wake u suddenly decide to come visit my blog or sth..

i'm jus sorry i haven been to see u..

i'm actually putting off the visit..

i really dun like my timing..

if anything were to happen..

i tink many ppl cannot take it..

and pls ah..

i m not the type to cry..

so dun do anything dat will make everyone and me cry okays..

jus freaking wake up..

its v day le u noe..

how can dun celebrate v day one..

we all waiting to celebrate v day with u can..

yingli folding roses..

i tink..

heck..i pei u learn from her..

although mine will probably turn out like a lump of crap..

i dun say so much le..

i really pray..

dat God will answer my prayers and dat u will wake up soon..

with none the wiser..

okays?

its a promise dat u will wake..

and i'm looking forward to u fulfilling ur promise..

den i fulfill mine of pei-ing u learn how to fold roses from yingli..=)

happy v day Jordan..

happy v day everyone..=)

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Problems problems and more problems..

life seem unable to escape from this evergrowing population of problem..

resistant to changes..

kinda lik the superbugs tutorial i was doing..

the antibiotic resistant..

many problems to think abt..

some mine..

some not..

i dun mind problems..

it can use my limited population of brain cells..

but when problems get out of hand..

impossible to solve within my own means..

i withdraw..

for my problems..dat is..

i withdraw from the battle..

from others..

to do wad?

to stone..

n wonder why did the problem came in the first place..

time and life will cease to exist..

i can hide for however long i wan..

cos when i withdraw..

i m jus alone..

i do not hav to tink whether my decision will affect ppl..

will it make ppl unhappy..

will it solve the problem..

wad other problems will it create..

will it be enuf..

will i hav the strength and courage?

will i?

alone is a good thing..

yarhs..

now emo le..

nvm..

happy studying all..

jiayouus for upcoming finals..