Is this my existence?

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

No idea why the sudden mood to blog..

Just felt that today's weather is really perfect..

The cooling and fresh breeze wafting in from the windows..

The grey clouds covering the sky..

Feels so refreshing..

So relaxed..

Makes me feel like I could just sit back and not do anything..

The perfect weather ever..

But then..I have no idea what am I feeling now..

It feels like nostalgia yet not..

Feels like sorrow yet not..

Feels calming yet turbulent inside..

More of yearning but for what I do not know..

Like having a hole but unable to fill it to the brim no matter how hard I try..

Must be all the books I'm devouring at home..

All those talks of the fantasy world that I'll never be a part of..

All those mentions of hate and love, rights and wrongs..

All those indications of having another half of your soul..

Must be all the time I'm wasting at home..

All those blanks spaces for daydreaming..

All those peace for imagining..

All those periods of silence that makes me yearn for the impossible..

There have to be a reason for what I'm experiencing..

All these time the wind just continue to blow over me..

It makes me wonder if there is anyone out there feeling the same tug of the wind..

A cleansing feeling..

Sudden thought of uselessness..

I had never excelled in anything..

Not in studies, not in sports..

Not in anything at all..

So easily dropping something once there is no longer any interest..

Makes me feel so inferior as compared to the others..

Others who are proficient and know what they want..

Is it because of my lack of interest in anything..

Is it because of me not knowing what I want..

Is it because I cannot have any interest..

Or is it because I do not want to have anything to do with it?

I'm confused..

Many times I just have the urge to just lie down and let the world just pass by..

Just let time flow and forget..

I do not see the need for wind to be wasted to cool me down..

Do not see the need for me around..

Not see the need to waste the air around me..

I'm really useless after all..

& HER

&An extremely ~~evil-ish~~ senile person who has intense memory problems.
&Been occupying space and dominating oxygen since 2nd June
&Around for 9teen years and demanding a refund.
&An ex-riversidian, currently a much-loved NP student of Pharmacy Science year 3

♥ HER DESIRES

♥Nothing will please me more than to get into a university now.
♥Following that will be accessories definitely.
♥Close behind are the 4Cs: Chocolates, Cash, Caps, Clothes.
♥A driving license will be nice once i saved up enough cash. ♥Far fetched wish is my dream home near the ocean.
may it come true!

† SPEAK UP

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Audi players and forummers
# 'star [W.i.n.g.y.a.n]
# Auddaye [A.u.d.r.e.y]
# Exzyner
# Nicky [N.i.c.k.y~!]
# V.e.n.e.s.s.a laogong~
# xBLAHH
# XiiaoWinter [E.u.d.o.r.a]
# --babyDEE--

My TaLEs

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credits

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