Is this my existence?

Monday, October 27, 2008

was so bored i decided to go do a little blog hopping..

kept playing the same song over and over again..

i cant seem to get any guys for a dance..

damn bad luck..

seem lik the dance cant go on anyways..

sadded..=/

srry yingli..

unless i can get enuf guys be4 31 oct..

de dance cant go on..T_T

oh well..

try harder this week^^

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decided to do this quiz or wadever..

fanatic for quiz..

kop from jamie's blog..

copy to ur own journal..

erase my answer and write ur own^^

Conditions:

1) Use the first letter of ur name to write ur answers..

2) They hav to be real places, names and object^^

in case ppl dunno.=.=

name is Millison =))

(1) Four letter word: Maid (Why can't I think of anything else but this?! Mus be cos i was reading kaichou wa maid sama..=.=

I'm not one though..=X)

(2) Boy's name: Melvyn (My brother's name^^)

(3) Girl's name: Marialle (Anyhow came up with it)

(4) Occupation: Maid!! Mailman/woman (wadever larh..=.=)

(5) Colour: Mauve

(6) Something you wear: Milk-white top (LOL!)

(7) Beverage: Milk (okays..gotta clarify..it is a beverage..but its not sth dat i would drink..probably be camping in the washroom if dat is to happen...=/)

(8) Food: Mum's cooking..(finally an answer after 10 mins of thinking..-.-)

(9) Place: Milli's room^^ (literally i fulfilled the condition..my room does exist^^v)

(10) Something found inside the bathroom: Millison (its true okays..when i'm inside i'm something found inside the bathroom!)

(11) Reason for being late: I would prefer overslping..but~ I'll go with "Milk consumption" (dat can come true one day leh..)

(12) Something you shout: Ma de..(i probably wouldn't shout dat..though i did once..cos i would really be volcanical to shout swear words..)

(13) Font: Hold on..I'l go check from microsoft word..:Magna Carta ( found it on http://simplythebest.net/fonts/fonts_m.html)

(14)TV show: Make me a supermodel.. (LOL..dun even noe wad is it..)

(15) Song title: Maybe from secondhand serenade

still bored..

p.s. thanks to jamie for helping me out with the name of the show thingy..

post post post~

heex..

lets see..agenda for the past week..

actually i also forgotten wad i did mostly..

i tink mainly i was trying my best not to slp in class..

and i swear dat took a lot of hard work to keep to dat not slping in class promise..=/

oh nvm..this post not abt me trying not to slp..

anyways..

lets see..

monday:

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was IS day..

freakingly 4 hours of flash application..

can really die..

and i cant seem to get the sense of concentration now..

apparently i hav yet to get the product code of the flash thingy..

darn..

i'm jus too lazy to bring the lapp along for this..

den went home to study for the pharmaco test..

zzz..

waste of time i tell u..

i haven study half i fell aslp at the table..

=.=

Tuesday:

--------------------------

okays..i cant rmb wad i did on this day...

really..

and its lik barely a week ago..

i only rmb i didnt go for work in the end..

cos i was too tired..

can only rmb i went home to slp..

all the way till evening..

wake to eat dinner..

den stone in front of the table..

not study and not slping..

wonderin wad i was doing..

i must be looking lik some idiot..

wadever..

lik when dun i look lik one..=.=

Wednesday:

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i had jap class..=/

and i collected my blazer..

i cant rmb anythin else..

i swear i'm getting old..

lik 80 years dat type of oldness =.=

Thursday:

-----------------------

ehhh...

rmb having a test..

and trying to stuff info abt anti-infectives inside the mushy dead brain of mine..

den went to work..

did some answers checking..

den went off earlier..

next day got event..

need slp early..

in the end..

the last thing i heard is the clock striking 3..

and i woke at 7..

haha..

some nice slp..=/

Firday:

--------------------------

had this SOB event..

science of beauty award event

whereby students from secondary sch came to showcase their cosmestic products and such..

was ambassador in charge for team A..

mainly work consists of telling the judging time..

giving out double sided tape and such..

cutting them into stripes..

helping them when they need to..

met pri sch de schmate in the same team as me..

lol..

no wonder he looked so familiar..

at least now i found someone from the same sec sch or pri sch in the same course as me..^^

den was helping TSO to ask to take photos of booths and the members..

den went on stage the henna paintng area and played ard..

did some henna painting for myself and for the students..

and for wenliang too..

heex..

had fun there..

den went home and slack..

or sth..

cant rmb wad i did later..

sunday:

---------------------

i forgot wad i did on sat..

except for the fact dat i was doing my tutorial for pharmaco..

den sunday which was ytd..

was doing the graph for clbl pract..

i swore i wasted lik 3 million brain cells on it..

cos i too long nv use the graph in excel..

and i forgotten how to use it due to me refusing to rmb abt pbc..

i wasted alot of time on it..

precious time i could use on pharmaco and clbl..

in the end i did the stupid thing..

and now i'm jus wonderin whether i got it correct or not..

and i got this feeling dat i didnt get it correct..

=.=

p.s.

tian ah!!

wasted too much brain cells.

until i got so many spelling mistakes...==.==

brain cells go spell till brain hells..

guess my brain cells are going thru hell..-.-

Sunday, October 19, 2008

first week of the new semester has started..

well all i can say is that it seems dat this sem's life will be a bitch..

well i'm hoping i can say dat..

but since i'm not a female dog..

and dat this is my life i'm talking about..

mayb i should change the way i phrase it..

mayb this sem's time table is a bitch..

nope..

cant say dat too..

the person who created my timetable is not in the wrong..

he/she was not the one who decided to make my life difficult..

den lets say the modules that make up the timetable sucks..

but the modules dun teach themselves..

so narrowing it down to the dear lecturers..

and to drive the point home..

its that nice modules taught by that mindless lecturer that makes this whole thing suck to the core..

pharmacology taught by the one and only lecturer..

heh..

weekly test are fine..

but pls lah woman..

common sense will tell u dat 2 weekly tests are a complete no-no..

tues and thurs lesson..

only after tues and after wed den got time to study for the thurs test..

the tues test i dun care..

cos dat one got time to study..

den tues teach us le u expect us thurs to know everything..

not everyone are as free as u..

ppl hav cca on wed that last late into the night..

some ppl hav work on tues ending only ard or after 10..

some ppl hav classes on tues/wed at night..

i got a feeling that this time round ur goal for this sem is to kill us is it..

piling so much thing..

and moreover..

stop reading from the damn slide..

and u noe..

telling us wad to write down and wad not to will help a great deal wor woman..

nv mention anything impt..

and den jus rattle on and on and on..

so much things u expect us to write down all meh?

at least mention wad to write so dat when u test us on them no one will stone can..

like last week..

senseless bitch..

shit you..

p.s. i forgot to mention that you wasted one of my blog post..zzz

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Hmmm..

i jus realised dat today is the last day of the holidays..

and i was still telling everyone i'm gonna slp late tml..=/

this is real sad leh..T_T

i still wan my holidays..

den now gan chiong gan chiong print my timetable..

prepare documents to change IS class..

and wondering why the hell did i choose flash applications as my IS modules when i'm an IT nut..

cos i went ot the course info and see and i totally catch no ball on wad the hell is adobe professional..

i tink i hav to get a non IT nut to come and save me liao..=/

tink i'll grab wendy..

yarhs..i shud do dat..

dun u dare run away hor..=/

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anyways..

today is jus plain tiring and upsetting in the beginning ba..

cos hav to pack my table which is filled with junk and yarhs..more junk..

and i dad threw out lots of stuff..

my sec sch papers..

the dolls i collected when young..

though i managed to salvage a few without him knowing..

and alot of things dat had been taking up space and are not mine..

cos my room is half a store room..

rawr..

anyway..its cleaner now..

heex..

finally got more space to throw my other not so junky junk..

well.........

den went to SCC for bowling..

honestly..

i still suck at it..

lowest 79 highest score for the day is 157..

pathetic..

now finger hurts lik no tml..

i really wonder if i can enter the bowling league..

though i really want to..

but got luck nia..

i cant really do much with it anyways..=/

den headed to the jackpot room..

watched parents play for a while..

den later kinda asked for some capital to play too..^^

lol..guess luck really with me..^^

won 100 - 25 capital..

75 lor..^^

happy sia..^^

but its going to be used to cover my dad's loss..

damn..

next time i use my own money suan le..=/

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

let's start from monday..

monday was morgan daddy's bdae..^^

Actually rite..i forgotten abt it until i decided to go to the gls dance practice..

den i met jehanne and jamie to hav lunch at KAP..

den i rmb..

cos the first thing dey went to do is to get a bdae present..

ps ah..i kinda had a lot of things in my mind..

so i kinda forgot ur bdae was dat day..

but i shared ur present waaaaaaaayy~ be4..

so u cant blame me for being so forgetful..=))

anyways..

the dance practice comments i'm gonna keep to myself..

comments to improve were already told to the IC in charge..

though it wouldn't hurt to be more serious^^

well..everyone hav to learn abt it eventually..

some stuff are meant to be experienced the hard way..

den i chose the song i wanted..

talked to tersoon abt some stuff..

and i'm intending to talk to yingli soon..=))

rite..someone remind me to talk to her okays..

cos i get this awkward feeling dat i will forget to talk to her as planned..

got some help form ken..

den we went out to celebrate daddy's bdae..^^

went to swenson at vivo..

food was okays..

price was not really..

and screw the bus ride home..

thruout the whole trip was trying to avoid the chicken wings dat were left rotting right at my feet..

and the ppl sitting beside me after jehanne alighted were supreme stinko-ish..

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anyways..tues's turn..

went out for class outing at ECP..

was supposed to be a pharm outing..

but i tink more of our classmates came den the seniors or the juniors..

nvm nvm..

well..

at least we all had fun..

bbq was quite lulling..except for the fact dat the smoke seem attracted to me and all..

toasted marshmellows until dey melted and i fed ppl!

but i tink i fed sin yi the wrong way..T_T

cos she didnt allow me to feed her after dat..T_T

i had some free time when the seniors were bbq-ing..

so i dragged micheele to take a quick walk at the beach..

one reason was cos i ate too much need to move..

another reason was to talk..

shared some thoughts while at the beach..

nth much le ba..

i only got i got caught in some damn unglam photos..

hais..

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Smiling time and time again..

I see myself smiling..

See myself laughing..

But as the day draws to a close..

I lie down in bed and think about it carefully..

I realised that smiling and laughing is so easy..

wait..maybe I should correct myself..

Forging a smile and laughter is so easy..

Yeah..that should be the correct way to say it..

Forging..

Its not real..

It doesn't ring from the heart..

All I have to do is just to pretend that I do not know my heart..

Just pretend that I do not know myself..

I've told others not to lie to themselves and that I hate it..

But I've been lying to myself for so long now..

I've told others not to run away from their problems and facing them head on..

But I'm the one who is always running away..

I can advice others..

But I can't advice myself..

How ironic..

I'm always the one who is so digusted with myself..

The fact that I can smile when I don't feel like..

The fact that I can laugh even though I don't want to..

I hate myself..

I'm wondering how much more of this I can take..

Really pondering..

It's like I'm myself and yet not myself at the same time..

Like having a shadow living part of my life for me..

My shadow is laughing and smiling while the real me is hiding deep in the shadows..

Yet..

I have no desire to change this position..

I wold always be the one still running..

Still hiding from the light..

I can only say that..

I want to be my myself and yet not entirely myself..

This is pure irony..

And it sucks..

Labels: Irony