Is this my existence?

Thursday, January 31, 2008

hais..

today OBC practical..

had moi head going in circles lor..

stupid thing..

in the end i tested mine to be alcohol and i stopped there..

to tell the truth..

i'm lik jus super lazy to test for anymore after getting a +ve result le..

hurhur..

nvm lah..

the back part i tried my best..

lucky got read a little here and there..^^

den lecturer told me abt the retest thingy..

initially said dat it was only proteins and enzymes..

still ok lah i tot,..

cos i got read a little on dat..

den later apparently she talked to sherylin and den she changed it to whole book..

cos sherylin read the whole book liao..

sian..

though it might be good practice for the finals..

but den i not prepared lor..

even though i already started a little le..

hais..

anyway..

after 12 i no class le..

LOL..

cos no one told me no hav INPH pract..

den stayed back lor..

to study abit of OBC..

in the end..

i studied abit..

den i fell aslp..

HAIS..

i'm lik super pathetic sia..

cant stay awake to study enuf of my workk..

GRRRR!!!!

hais..

14 more days..(^.^)

22 more days..(T.T)

TT..

sobs..

dun even lik noe wad the hell to do..

and the exams day are all in between them..=x

sian arh..

anyway..ppl..!

nearing exams ler..

dun overtire urself ok..

dun stress out also..^^

play hard work hard..^^

pls takkaire of urself..

^^V

all the best okays?

finished CATS presentation le..so happy..

for the first time in my entire life..

other den the 2 rare times i ton..

i was online till 4am..

not chatting mainly..

not playing..

but doing my presentation!!

for me..dat is one great achievement..

hurhur..

no more CATS oledi!!

cool cool^^

can spend wed resting more at home..^^

jus for next week..

and den i tink when we stayed back to complete the analysis..

hais..

computers dun lik me..

everywhere me and jevon went to print the slides..

com either break down..

or waiting veri long..

or no com..

zzz..

den i gave up..

and went to stone at the atrium..

jevon went canteen 2 to settle the printing..

hurhur..

den he came back..

with the printed stuff!!

saw shifu when i abt to hand in the stuff to teacher..

hais..

shifu ah..

its actually quite obvious liao..

den u went and buwee me more..

bad shifu..=x

evil shifu..=x

i ask ye ye and whack u den u noe..=x

anyway~

later we went to the space outside the gym..

and saw mei there stoning..=x

with her lapp and playing the same old search game..

nth to do and went to read the first aid thingy..

haha..

ppl lik a bit surprised to see me there..

cos normally..

i only go there after 8 or sth..

due to my jap class..

but abit not used to it..

first we had first aid test..

which i tink i fare not bad..

must be a bit postive..

haha..

den later pt..

the normal ones we did..

still can manage..

still enjoying it..^^

but the campus run..hais..

not used to it at all..

i mean i do go on the treadmill..

but i do not cheer and scream and shout every 10 seconds or so..

i tink i most likely will be kicked out..

so..i tink i went out of breath shouting crap cheers..

den later..major headache..sian..

seeing double..

i saw 1 and the half jyan and 2 xiaowei and 2 hong yi..

LOL..

damn cham..

balance also off..

wanted to suggest eating panadol..

but i tink i might tio whacked..

so i shaddup..=x

jus let them lead me on..

btw..did i mention dat i'm lik almost a panadol addict..

haha..panadol FTW~ <3

hurhur..

den played captain ball..ZOMG..hate captain ball..

not really hate..more of i dun lik to play..

prefer netball^^

more fun and such^^

den pumpings~

did 120..

so total now left like 200 more to clear be trial camp..

OMG..

still alot..=x

and today only 16 ppl appeared..=x

oh well..

was tired and pissed off in the morning..

now feeling a wee bit lethargic..

need slp..

not really intending to half ton another night..

i tink i will die!

oh..

PANADOL FTW!!!

heex..=)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

OMG

me just got some bad news..

sobs..

dun even wanna think abt it..

but...

I'm having my wisdom tooth surgery again..!!

on the 22th Feb at precisely 1430 hrs!!!!

-faints-

someone save me!!!!

God..can die leh..

firstly the stupid injection..

hurts lik its first injected and can practically feel the solution being pushed into the gums..

den lik the gums wanna burst lidat..

pain lik.hais...

den later hav to stone there for lik 15 mins fotr the medicine to take effect..

den this time my right side of the face will be numb..

den lips also numb and cant feel a thing..T.T

and dats not the worst part..

after dat lik dey practically wrap me in this green thing..

(make me look lik cocoon lidat..only inside is me not caterpillar)

den wrap me so nicely..

(lik present lidat..=X)

den cover my eyes again with this green piece of cloth or wadever..

hav no idea why all green sia..

mayb shud ask yewey..she LOVES green..haha

off topic liao..

den ..-.-

drilling..

-.-

i HATE the drilling of moi tooth..

can hear the sound but no feel the pain..

can feel the pressure but no feel the pain..

can feel the stress from hearin the drilling sound..but no feel the pain..

den thay talk and talk lik i not there..=x

saying dat wah so much blood ah..

wah..cant pull it out..

stuck inside so lets drill somemore..

heyyy..i cant see inside my mouth..

but dun hav to say out rite..

lik have this feeling of being exposed sia..

zzz..of my mouth..=x

ARGH!!

den when done and going back home everything starts again..

first..cant talk clearly..

and my family hav this habit of talking to me and expecting an answer..

secondly..once the numbness effect wears off..

hell lot of pain sia..

cant even rest without feeling the pain..

for me the pain is lik not only in my mouth but also in the head..

and the panadol dat i take..

super strong..but take quite long to take effect..

tink its enteric coated or sth..

haha..den for 2 weeks..

i'm to take antibiotics, panadols and stuff..

dats y i'm lik so loving panadol..

might be addicted to it le^^

cos damn strong lah..the one i was given for the pain relief..hurhur

hais..but still

all the pain jus for a set of nice teeth..

so NOT worth it to me..

but dad willing to spend this money on me..

so jus do lor..

dun gu fu him..

=x bleah..i lik talking shit sia..

dunno lah..

but damn sia..

after exams i rest for lik less den 3 days den surgery..

den 3 days after surgery cant go out..

cos dowan ppl to see swelling of my right cheek..

and also talking is tough..

walking jars my mouth..making it hurt all over again..

and i wonder if it would heal by trial camp..

cos i cant do exercise for 2 weeks..

and still hav to go back and remove the damn stitches..

i still wan my gums and teeth..

y so bad so cut my gums and get at my teeth..T.T

sobs..

is anyone willing to take over my place..

i would gladly change place with dat person for dat day u noe..

hais..

no escape for me i guess..

any takers?

sobs..i'm hav to face reality man..

but right now..

i tink i'm going to FOCUS more on my CHEMISTRY..

cos i having retest on tues..

and i do wanna pass..

and also concentrate on my studies so dat i MIGHT be able to go out a day be4 exams..

hopefully ba..i do wanna go out..=x

den after the 19th..

enjoy abit..

den suffer suan le..=x

T.T

wish me luck dat i dun pass out and stay in coma..

there are risks..

jus not dat high..

Saturday, January 26, 2008

fudge..

SOO

DAMN

EMO-ISH!

EEMMOO-IISSHH..

ARGHH..

FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE....!!!

FUDGE U FUDGE U FUDGE U!!!!

FUDGE PROJECTS FUDGE TESTS FUDGE IT ALL!!

FUDGE LAG FUDGE LIFE..

I GOT A FUDGING BRAIN WHICH I HAV NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT..

vented anger..

sry for caps..

was extremely pent up jus now..

oh..btw..change all the fudge word to the fu*k word..

it will sound so much nicer..=)

heck..

i'm lik super addicted to coffee..

super addicted to my lappy..

super addicted to blogging..

and super addicted to the word fudge..

zzz...

hais..

i tink unseen stress is taking its toil on moi..

i cant really take it..

every night when i reach home i feel super irritated..

cos sometimes..mum jus finished scolding bro..

and den i also will tio..

den its lik i'm going back to a home where i keep hearing screaming and nagging..

its not lik i spent a whole day outside flirting or sth..

i spent time in sch studying though i dun look lik it..

i do sth in sch too..

so pls dun say dat i'm a good-for-nth..

and dat i'm a useless fudging idiot..

i m a human so i can feel..

so pls dun lik tell me all these..

i can tolerate..

but i hav a limit too ok..

u say dat i shout at u all the time..

but hey..hu is the one hu is shouting at me first..?

ask urself dat..

u say dat i'm a piece of shit..

hu gave birth to me?

u say dat u dowan me to take 961 home daily..

so when i take 184 and switch bus..

why are u so pissed with me?

i dun get u most of the time..

u scold me..

i shaddup and u said dat i ignore u..

i shouted back a reply cos we are far apart..

den u said dat i always shout at u and not at my frens..

so wad do u wan?

i also not sure sia..

i am so going to get another blog where i can flame freely..

else dangerous cos melvyn noes this blog url..

and i super lazy to change url..

hais..

no mood to flame le..

jus questions i pondering over and over again..

and one more thing..

why do i still have to do hsehold chores when it lik so near finals..

pls note dat even though i nv say anything abt it..

i still try my best to please u and not make u angry..

but i am not superhero..

i WILL explode one day..

and lets hope u are not dat on dat day..

else u will be flamed till lik nobody's business..

ok ler..

i still wan emo..

dowan angry le..

my new take in life..

'An emo a day keeps anger away"

emo-ing is better den getting angry..rite..=)

Friday, January 25, 2008

mmmm...

lets see...

i noe i noe..

ytd was stoning in the early morning at emart..

den edah sms-ed me..

she said dat she was freezing even after she left the mrt for ages..

den i tink there is sth wron with me...

i tink so too..=X

and i tink she tink so too...

den i jus send this fudging sms...

'come tuh me den i warm u up.."

kao..

now tinking of it i wanna laugh lik hell lah..

den when she reach there...

we were lik laughing lik shit again and again..hurhur...

kao..

den in the end nv really study...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

was lik super bored and went blog hopping..^^

saw this in xiaowei nu er's blog..^^

so jus did it for the fun of doing^^

Name: Millison

Date: 1/22/2008

Colorgenics Number: 70152634

.
Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception.

You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn.

So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.
You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait.

You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.
All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation.

Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass.

Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever.
There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.
All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety.

You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding.
You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you.

The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection.

You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you.

You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.
At this time you don't particularly like yourself.

Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong.

This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again.

Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt.

Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude.

If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK.

Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?

hurhur..super bored..

kinda true..

i'm lik a emo freak these few days..>.<

lucky still got ppl ard me to care..^^

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I'm emo-ing..

as usual..

hais..

no idea wad went wrong le..

i khi siao le..

must be must be...=X

-sigh-

i can break record for headache liao..

last few days headache everyday and the amt of panadol i ate..

lots sia..

and ppl keep asking me to cut it down..

but doesn't produce much effect sia..

tink i addicted to it le..

mus stop soon..=X

abit emo..mum start to say how useless i can be..

and how my brother will excel me in the future..hais..

sometimes..

she dun care abt the feelings of others de..

jus say and say non stop..

den later after she cool down and finished demoralising ppl..

she start saying dat she actually dowan to do this de..

cos she do this every one also not happy..

but too late sia..

u already made me unhappy..

hais..

den started emoing and all..

ppl ard me also affected i tink..

hais..msn also emo nick for awhile..

sad sad me..

heh..shall not go into details on wad i did..

den later not emo le..

got a couple of calls den stopped emoing..

hurhur..but emo freak still remain..Hais...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

it was the end of my limit..

i broke down today..

it wasn't supposed to be lik dat..

it's not supposed to..

i really cant take it...

its was a promise and u broke it..

u promise u wont find me ever again..

i took u to ur promise..

and now wad..u broke it..

why did u hav to appear here..

u are a fragment of my past..

u went abroad..

and i decided to forget u..

i did..

and den u had to break and foil de hard work dat i put in..

u had to appear and humour me with words i nv wanna hear from u..

why does it hav to be so..

its not wad i want..

u said u would leave me alone and lemme get on with my life..

i told u i dun ever want to see u again..

regardless of the relationship..

and u came back on her anniversary..

are u mocking my feelings or wad..

u are really unreasonable..

u dun keep to ur promise..

here i am trying to get on with my life..

and u jus waltz in and out of my life..

this is absurd!..

i dun care if u jus return from overseas for ur hols..

i dun care if u tink i'm cold..

u can carry on sending those mails for all i care..

i hav no liability to reply ur mails..

for all i care i can jolly well jus delete it..

but..

the question is why did u hav to come bak..

dun u hav a home to go bak to..

why did u hav to hang ard my hse anyway..

u dun miss me..

u jus miss mocking me..

u jus miss seeing the pain and sorrow in my face whenever i look at u..

u suck man..

heck..

so wad if u seen me at NP open hse..

u are not even meant to go there in the freaking first place!

and wad the hell u mean by u are feeling jealous..

we are not even friends in the first place..

hu are u to care hu i am with?

u cant jus appear and tell u to get bak with u again..

its not fair..

i had forgotten u...

its jus not fair..

not fair to me..

and all u did..

was jus to make me cry..

i hate u..

i really do..

hate u man..

hate u alex..

me hate u..

and jus so u noe..

i haven cried for ages..

u jus did something..

dat u shud not be proud of..

Labels: I HATE YOU

Friday, January 18, 2008

meh...been mourning since lik ytd..

but forgot to add it in the post for ytd..

oh well..

i kinda fell aslp while this 'wonderful' lady was busy snipping at my hair..

den end up she cut more den i wanted..T.T

mourning for the loss of my hair..

meh..michelle looked shocked dat i cut my hair..

while mei said dat there is no difference..-.-

today went to sch with suly and jer..

haha..jer u still own me a drink i dun care..

today was a little tiring..

i went to watch the SL dance..

heex..dey were good sia..^^

haha...hmmm...

den later kor joined us and we wandered ard BA and den went off to ICT..

zzz...i hate the fact i was always taken as a sec sch student..

for god's sake i'm a poly 17-teen year old student..=.=

oh well..

at least i'm with ppl i enjoy being ard..=)

mmm..den went bak to LSCT for my lab duty..

den mei kept calling me..=X

haiz..after reached home..

i realised dat i shud jus tell..

i told..

and den i felt a little better den jus emo-ing alone..

thanks for both of u..

my kor and my mei..

for being there..when i need ya..^^

love you guys..

literally..^^

Thursday, January 17, 2008

mmm...today is the first day of the open hse in NP!!!

Wwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

heh heh...everyone in our class had duty to do..

pity mine is not on the first day of the open hse..^^

mine is on fri 18/1/08 from 3.30pm to 6..

haha...anyone who wants to come visit me is welcome to wor~

me having the same timings as jehanne^^

mmm...i'll be meeting jer and suly (xal) tml..

den bring them ard the sch ba..^^

since dey say dey dowan to go for the boring tours..

hurhur..i tink i also equally boring lor..

cos i dun tink i will be able to answer any of their questions..

cos the schools dey wanna go is BA and ITcomm lor..

zzz...

dey nv support LSCT..

hurhur..no worries i tink i can drag them there later..

the last part be4 i go for my lab duty..

-evil laugh-

mmm...jus realised dat mei loves to take photos sia..

not only of people and what they do lor..

zzz...

not elaborating but mei u shud noe wad i talking abt...-.-

mmm...wendy also said a couple of things dat i at first tot hav totally no link...

haiz...sian diao lor..

now i finally noe wad wendy is talking abt liao lor...

and i hate to admit it..

i kinda tink u correct sia..T.T

heh..but mei and wendy seldom come to moi bloggie..

heh heh..^^

whee~

seeing suly and jer for the first time tml..

wonder how dey look lik sia...

hmmm...

oh well..no matter..

it will work out de..

den later mayb take a break during duty and go find kor..^^

mus go bak and mug le..

ja ne~

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

woots~

hehheh...ps forgot to update for a while le..

heh heh..

let's see..

the most recent one would be dat my team of netball players..

Wed 1 won the interclass!

Man am i proud of u guys..=D

we actually got the same no of points for the 5 games with Wed 2

hurhur..are we good or wad..

den we tied..

so we were all wondering if we hav to play another rd against each other to find the winner..

haha..dat didnt really happened..

dey will see the no of goals we managed to get in..

in the end my team got in lik 16 goals while the other Wed team got in 8 goals..

so we won...=)

heex..was pretty happy..

all our hard work paid off..

but boy..

the other teams were rough sia..

keep slapping my hands and i keep falling..

o.0

but hu cares..now over le..=)

last fri..which is lik one day be4 this competition..

we had nyaa meeting..

haha..

was abit boring cos some of the stuff we had already seen be4 de..

but the game itself i laugh lik no one's business again..

cos we all switched our names..

we were playing the blanket game..

so told samuel we compete to see who can shout whose name first..

den the 'blanket' went up and den sam went behind it..

but i haven reach there a guy went in my stead..

den sam's face was so comical when the blanket went down..

couldn't really stop laughing..

lucky got ppl there to control me..even for a while..^^

Friday, January 11, 2008

WOOTS..

i failed my chemistry..

wahahaha..

lol...knew it le..

dun really dare to tell my mum sia..T.T

i scared she skin me alive..=X

LOL..

and i got my schedule for the open hse thing le..

only 3.30pm to 6 on fri..

so thurs i got no sch...=)

woots meh..~

keke~

woohoo~

no sat and no thurs...

wonderful me can stay at home and start to do my notes le..

cos i noe i will slack during CNY..

sobs..

me no wan to fail anything again le..

though i tink i still might not ba able to make it for my chem...

but me no wan to take chem again..

can anyone coach me on my chem..T.T

today hong yi come in to crash our CMB lecture..

haha..i was hoping dat Dr Gandhi wont like chase him out of the class or sth..

cos we are a pretty small class and the teachers knew all of us..

in the end nv tio chased out of the class..

haha...

fun fun..

mayb shud do more pf crashing classes..

more fun lidat..=X

i haven been crashing classes..

i really shud try more of it..=)

mmm...today also gg to the nyaa meeting..

can get cca point den go lor..

since i also hav to discuss the nyaa board deco and also (mayb) learn the mass dance for the RED camp one..

heh heh...

mmm...after this shud end abt 730..

go eat dinner at home..=)

haiz...abit nervous for tml interclass netball..

haiz...my team hav some good players..

but the rest really cmi one lor..

the rest either cant listen or hav no ears..

where got ppl run with the ball de..

i can die of anger and laughter one lo..

and the other team in my class is lik so much better den mine..

haiz..

oh well..

i tink i will lose..

oh well..

jus shoot my best lor..

since i the goal shooter..

but still no fun if the team sucks..

haiz..

the players good ones are hui xuan..xiao jiao..

jovi & julia still not bad..

khaitja is okaay..

marie also not bad..

the rest...

haiz...

enuf said le..

oh well..

might be able to pull it off..=)

hopefully..=X

Monday, January 07, 2008

Mmmm...

second week in sch le..

kinda gets boring after u got bak the results..

super typical results for me..

hurhur...no need to return me the papers i already noe wad i getting le..=X

keke...=)

Haiz...my results lik shit..=X

suan le..no dwelling on the past!!

oh yea...talking abt buddies..

my buddy came!

and instantly transformed into my new gurlfren..=)

Jehanne and Edah buddies supposed to come too..

but they went m.i.a..

sad thing..

so dey all pampered my shui yu...

did i jus said my?

oh well wad do i care..=)

i really had fun going high though for no apparent reason..=X

haha..i tink she also cant tahan the lessons..

she looked lik she is gg to fall aslp any moment sia..=X

veri funni lor..

mmm...kinda miss her now dat she is not here..

oh well..i hope she will find one course dat sutis her in NP..

den we can see her often..

Shui Yu me miss ya..=)

heh heh..

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

whee...!!

first day of sch and i'm so happy liao..

haha...main thing is because there is no GL and no jap class for me too..=)

means dat i dun hav to wait till 6 stoning alone for 6 hrs in sch..=)

haha..so glad dat i can go home super early.

first time i went bak home at 12 on a wed..=)

but but..

only happy for today nia..=)

mmm...and i still donno the work schedule now..

since on sunday we are supposed to like work half a day..

and i not sure wad to do..

oh well..S&W today was fun..

we were playing on court..so fun..=)

oh..and there is a interclass netball coming up for those in the netball S&W..

me and shirley are the captains of the 2 individual teams..

heehee...

nv been captain be4..

feel lik going bak to sec sch and hanging out with my netball playing frens again..

been too long without them..

kinda miss playing netball with them..

today not too bad..

out of 4 balls past to me..

i managed to get in 3..

but i dun tink i can be GA (goal atker)

cos i dun really see where ppl go..

cos in the interclass we had in the past..

we jus ran everywhere..

kinda used to it and couldn.t change much of it..=)

but oh well..

hadda get used to it..

now is the worring headache part..

cos i hav to make sure everyone gets a chance to play on court..

and also choose my main members..

abit headache sia..

since i haven seen all in diff positions yet..

though i'm certain of a couple of postions and those of the backups..=)

cos it will be tiring to ask one person to play for all of the probably 4 hrs carnival..

wich i managed to do so in the sec sch days..=)

hopefully we can still win this interclass..=)

it will show dat we have been working and learning hard..=)

mmm...

fiesta is getting boring since i only talk to mainly 2 person in-game..

and wendy is seldom online..=X

oh well..=)

i managed to reach my goal of reaching lvl 27 on the 2nd of jan..=)

one good thing..

mayb i'll stay at dat level for now..

and mayb train my archer or fighter..

else if i really dat guai i shall start studying my chem..T.T

(which i doubt so)

i need help for chemistry..!!!!!

-sobs-

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

a brand new year 2008 le..

a brand new year with new goals in life..=)

so let's see..

my 2008 goals..

.:study related goals:.

-to make it thru my first year in poly with GPA of at least 3

(doubt so..with my terrible chem..=X)

-to miracously have tons of chemistry-related brain cells

-to concentrate on my studies

.:general goals for myself:.

-to learn cooking better=X

(had to do so..no choice..=/)

-going to gym weekly with my cousins

(i tend to overslp & miss those sessions)

-to prevent my brother from growing taller den me

(i have no idea how to do dat though......)

-to grow taller!!!

-to learn how to make a new blogskin

(nearly impossible for IT-retarded me)

.:other goals:.

-to slp more and get rid of panda eyes

-to concentrate more on my work

-to make my brother more retarded..

(again..i have no idea how to do dat..=/)

no more goals le..=)

for now...dat is...