Is this my existence?

Saturday, May 31, 2008

lol...

family decided to celebrate my bdae today..

with dinner..

told them not to..

-sigh-

oh well..

chem will hav to study at night later...

ppl good luck with CT..

its on next mon...

jiayouus ba..

Thursday, May 29, 2008

well..wad can i say..

CT coming le..

stress adding on..

and i'm in an foul mood these few days..

work schedule got problems..

i see teacher buay song another problem..

chem is one more problem..

cant study finish another problem..

cant settle those stuf also another problem..

wad the heck is with all these problems sia..?!

one problem after another..

solve one come up anther to replace..

knnccb larhs..

stupid problems make me pollute my blog..

hais..

work schedule also not my fault..

i did tell them if i going down or not..

i didnt do anythin wrong..

den wad for u on the phone i jus tld u wad the other person said

and den u went ballistic and started shoutin..

wad to do..all i had to do is jus to listn to u continue..

wad else can i do..

the more i hear u say..

the angrier i get..

but i mus say i'm so well trained by now..

my voice dun betray wad i felt..

zzz..

the mask is working well..

i had so much practice at home..

trying to hold bac anger in the hse..

trying not to let all my frustration show..

trying to keep my temper in check..

trying and trying and trying..

its tiring me out..

i had enuf..

really..i'm almost at the limit of my patience..

and the next person who is at the reciving end of my wrath..

i'm so gonna pity him after i cool down..

i'm trying to be a good girl at home..

i'm trying to be good student in sch..

i'm trying to be a good fren to others..

i'm trying to be real good..

acting so much its getting so tired for me..

i need my damn space!!

i need my damn time!!

i need my damn everything to myself!!

mask is slipping off..

i need my damn sanity!!

i need my damn life!!

its getting so tough to be near u..

and i'm leaving u..

Sunday, May 25, 2008

hmmm...this is my tots for my dear jamie's post^^

Its really good to be ur real self..

the part where u dun hav to really look at ppl

and then to 'adjust' ur personality to fit the person..

so as to make the person lik u..

another good thing is dat..

being urself.

allows u to be more natural..

and allow urself to fa hui ur own unique personality..

becos everyone is different..

being with u..

i'm able to let down some of my 'defence'..

i have this urge to protect myself by myself..

so i fortify a barrier ard me..

but being with u..

beocs of ur unique personality..

i'm able to be more of myself ard u..

i dun hav to act so much..

being alongside with u..

being frens with u..

playing the fool with u..

i'm able to breathe more freely..

able to really laugh becos something is funni..

able to express myself better..

able to smile and laugh becos i wan to..

and not becos i need to show others some sort of response..

its the same with being ard closer frens lik wendy..edah..jyan..michan..

etcetc..[dun be sad if ur name is not here, I hav many frens..tough to list them all..=) u guys are all impt to me^^]

however, it still good to place minimum protection ard u..

kinda speaking from experience..

haha..but ard us..

throw them all away..^^

let everyone noe abt ur unique personality..

heck care them..

either dey accept u for who u are..

ot dey dun..

cos u are the best when u just bein urself..^^

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I jus realised wad i shud do..

i hav one thing to say..

never ever light something near yewey..

cos she will jus explode!!!

cos cows produce methane..

man..

dun even dare bring a lighter near her..

its dangerous to u and the awesome cow..=)

there..yewey i promised u dat i will say it out..

though u told me not to..

haha..=)

now i'm laughing again..-.-

Thursday, May 22, 2008

ooo..did some changes..

nice ma nice ma..

lol..also not i make de..

zzz..

heex..but i lik this skin alots^^

prettaye^^

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

mmmm...ytd telematch..nth much to say larhs..

easy set up of my station..

den the rest of the time tie bomb bags liaos..

rawr..

make my hand yellow liao den green den yellow again..

cos was adding dye..zzz

making the water so gross..

lik shit colour lidat..

only got one complain abt a guy i dun even noe..

but if i not wrong i tink is in dickson's class de..

cos jamie also there ma..

den splashed and doused her with water..

she lik so damn high can..

den later she wet wet come hug me..

i tink cos i was spraying water over theirs heads..cos weather hot ma..

so sprayed over cool head abit..

den this guy..

super kns lor..

come over and snatched hose from my hands..

milli's finger injured cant hold on tightly..

den he take and spray at me.

nv bring clothes and everything lor..

and all the while he was shouting how dare i spray water at him..

super super knsccb lor..

weirdo..

glare at him..

wanted so much to hurl vulgarities..

but nah..i dowan get scolded later..

den the others gls there..

told him to put down the hose..

dn he siam..

damn stewpig can..

rawr..nth much liao ba..

den went home..

rub oil on finger..

now hurts more den ever..

-sobs-

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

one thing to say..
today class damn funni can..
got debate one..
zzz..
den was happily arguing..
joy of life..
pity cant raise voice...else even better..
.
my finger still hurts..=X
.
further detail to be updated mayb tml..=X
abt the telematch etc..

Monday, May 19, 2008

Hmmm...today is vesak day..

HAPPY VESAK DAY TO EVERYONE!!

ooo...i jus realised dat i injured my finger..

mus be playing too much bowling..

somemore use fingertip to play..

rawr..hope dun affect too much..=)

Friday, May 16, 2008

hmmm...

needed to blog..

was pretty emo these few days..weeks..i tink even coming to months le..

but jus not showing the bulk of it..

hurhur..

chill milli..

milli is either going high at inapproriate times..

is jus simply going crazy at inapproriate times..

take ur pick man..><

lets see..

wed was first GLs training of this year for the juniors..

the GLs-wanna-bes..

heehee..

seeing them makes me nostalgic sia..

reminded of the times where we had such fun lik this..

den gradually the more srious training and etc..

i really hope dey will stay on..

dats a wish..but wondering if can succeed..

hahahahahaha..=)

oh yea..

was kinda proud of my darling glaistig babies..

namely..jamie amanda and sarah..

hurhur..^^

seeing them in GLs..

i'm lik so darn happy can..

oh..

the best part is after GLs..

where dey pulled me to a corner..

i tot they were going to tickle me or sth..

but i was really touched by wad they did..

u guys noe wad u did..

and i jus wanna tell u..

THANK YOU!!

AND I LOVE THE 3 OF YOU TOO!!

i'm really touched..really..

but thanks for preparing the tissue paper..

though in the end i nv used it^^

haha..

okays milli needs to go do some stuff..

still debating though..

should i:

slp?

do report?

play cabal?

darn..i tink i cantmake up my mind..

someone see the above..and help me choose? =)

edit// pretty obvious..huh? =)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

hmmm..

back for more bloggings^^

mmm...

not too sure wad to type..

so i'll jus dedicate tis blog post to a couple of ppl ba..

To Jamie dear..

I'm lik feeling so blessed when i see dat msg u left for me..

its lik..its lik a heavenly feeling u noe..

the type whereby i finally found another person who really knows me^^

we hav almost the same tots abt stuff..

u noe..i'm really damn happy when i'm with u larhs..

u seem to noe the best way to make someone forget their troubles..

even if its for the time being..^^

i'm chao super high when i heard dat u are in GLs larhs..

though i noe u cfm can go in de..

LOL..

but me really happy for u..and also for myself^^

cos i can see more of u le^^

damn damn happy..

managed to lift my spirits enuf to agree to a bowling session with my family..

normally i'll be too bad tempered to go anyway to do anything.

see how u affect me..

haha..so so so fortunate to hav known u!

and i really really haven been in dat good mood all these times to laugh so much with u..

its really jus happy kind of laughing and not dat jus to ying chou ppl one..^^

damn..

i can even laugh so much from the occasionally msn chat larhs..><

damn high also..this year in NP will be one great one with u!

dun forget the hugs man^^

To Amanda,

I hav no idea if u noe my blog..

but i tot i would jus write it down here..

during FOC..i tink i seldom hang out with the girls in the grp..

so i cant say dat i noe u much..

however, i'm not blind during the times i'm with u ppl..

i noe dat u are one enthu gal..

and can go super high de..

u dun hav to worry u noe..

if i see u i'll CFM say hi to u..

heck..i'll even throw in a hug for u^^

seing u guys practically make my day larhs..

i'll be ard de..

and one day..

one of us is going to organise glaistig outing..

den i can cfm see more of u le^^

To Michelle,

Michan..

ur bloggy..

emo sia lah..

fro ur post i noe dat ur daddy is there for u..

but dun forget..

all of us..including me..are jus ard u too..

if u hav anything u wan to confide to us..

jus call us..we will definatel be there for u de..

dats wad frens are for..

sometimes..saying wadever u feel to someone else..

u wil feel alot better den keeping everything in ur heart..

dun forget dat me edah jyan are all ard u..

even ur frens are too.

if u are feeling alot of sress..

we will understand..

jus rmb we are all here standing by u..

and will always be with u^^

To Zahidah,

edah darling!

lmao..

mus thank u sia..

thank u for being there for me and comforting me whilst i was down..

heh..

thanks for playing the fool and saying dat my hp is not with u..

u shud noe wad i mean..

thanks for always waiting for me..

while the slowpoke me keep my stuff..

thanks for helping in every way u can..

To Jehanne,

mei..i got nth much to say..

cos i guess u already noe wad i wanna say le..><

hmmm...for being ard me and helping me take note of stuff..

and for informing abt things in class and cca..

xie alots..

u mus rmb to always tay happy okays..

cos nowadays i see u lik damn bz..

rawr..

To wendy,

wendy ah wendy..

pls takkaire of urself can..

u hor..i noe u got alot of work to do..

pls rest properly larhs..

u chiong chiong chiong..

later u fall sick i see how u chiong..

u chiong somemore..later u see me whack u..

u better not fall sick ah..

later i got no one to bully leh..

and den no fun le..

haha..jking larhs..

but pls ah..

its not lik sec sch where i always hang out with u..

we boh hav our own frens so we will hang out with them..

but jus rmb to take good care of urself okays..

cos its not nice to fall sick..

its best to work when u in healthy condition den in sick condition rite..

haha u sick i take porridge to see u den later u say i put poison inside..><

jus rmb to chill more on project and work..

i believe u can de^^

jiayouus..but no too chiong okays^^

oh yeah...

i did sth to myself today..

i wonder if anyone will notice when dey see me..

haha..^^

lalalalala..

need to go liao..

btw..no email me okays..

my hotmail baby got problem le..

die die dun lemme open..

be seeing ya^^

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Hmmm...

lets see..

ytd was my nu er's xiao wei's bdae!!

-claps claps-

Hope dat u will stay happy always okays^^

jiayous for dat rel GPA u aiming for^^

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