Monday, July 30, 2007
Once again...posting due to pressure...
I really cannot tahan the invisible stress anymore...
I've been reading tons of stuff to trying to help me...
everyone say dat i am so rdm...
a while i so hyper...the next sec i can be so depressed...i really dunno wad to do with myself...
trying too hard and accomplishing too little...
I'm really so tired...thinking of running along the road...but hor...no sharp objects i can borrow without staining the items...
I played ard with the wrist..all heal so fast nth is left to remind me of the tyms i cant take it...
Too tired and pissed to think coherrently...bound to have a day where I'm going to run down and hard along the road..
where i can realy slp in peace...but i cant...not now...
i still hav my parents to think of...think hav their future to think of too...
If i were to leave wad wuld happen to them...
mayb I'm having this feeling dat i cant leave them behind...
got them hlding me bak...
cant bear to leave dem alone...i wan to spare them grief...
i wan to spare dem the harsh reality...
but i wan to stop thinking...
to give my lungs some holiday tym where dey can rest and not work so hard...
to let my heart slow down and see the outside life...
to let my brain slp the tym away...
to let my body relax lik dey had nv had...
to let my soul drift far and free...
I start to sigh so often I'm tired with the sound of it ler..
I noe my fwens are really not happy when I'm not happy...
I'm really hard up for some thinking tym...
I'm starting not to tok so often...
even if i did tok...it would be short and direct and to the point...
I'm starting to hurt others with my direct words...
I noe it...i can feel their displeasure at it..
I guess i'm thinking too much...
I wan to please everyone but it so impossible...
I wan approval from ppl...i wan them to really se me for hu i am...
blah..wad am i toking...
CRAPPING SHIT!!!!!!
TIRED!!!
JUST LEMME SLP!!!
for eternity...